My day begins with a positive thought. I like to call it my moment of truth. Where I take a few minutes to reflect on the progress I've made, gratitude for the sight I have and thankful for the opportunity to live another day filled with endless possibilities.

The truth is, I've learned to celebrate what may seem like small accomplishments to most but are life changing to me. I've lived a lie for the better part of my adult life. I have Retnititis Pigmentosa (RP), a degenerative eye disease that can cause complete blindness. WHEW, I said it. Up until this last year I have never openly discussed my disease or even called myself disabled out of fear someone will look at me differently, pity me or focus on the disability and what it's done to me instead of seeing Mary and how I deal with the vision loss. It took me a long time to realize that RP lives with me. It doesn't control or define me.

Worried that I would lose my job if my employer found out my sight was deteriorating, stressing before large events because the venue may have dim lighting or overcrowded, making it that much more difficult to see and possibly even trip or fall (insert gasp here) "someone will find out I can't see!" I would breakout into a cold clammy sweat each day thinking about meeting someone new and not seeing them extend their hand to shake mine only to give me a shocked look when I don't reciprocate because I didn't see it. One of my favorites is when I finally decided to speak up and tell people that I have only central vision (no peripheral) and all they can do is continue to walk up beside me, stand to the side of me and quietly wait then laugh "you're kidding, you really don't see me" and it becomes a daily occurrence.....good times, right?

Because of that I may bump my grocery cart into you at the store, or walk past you on the street and not say hello, even struggle to find the scanner at Starbucks to pay for my latte. All I ask is please be patient and never judge a book by it's cover. If someone bumps into you don't give them a nasty stare, roll your eyes, or angrily say "are you blind?" Simply grin and let them know it's okay because not everyone is evil. There is ALWAYS a reason why it happened, it may not be what you think.  

Bottom line, life is meant to be lived and damn it, that's exactly what I intend to do! I've spent too many years pretending to be "normal". Fearing the unknown, predicting the worse out of every situation. I've realized that the "not so normal" me is so much more fun to be around. I've started my journey to Mary 2.0. A journey of feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Looking at the world through my eyes. I can't control the progression of my disease but I can control how I chose to live each day. So I smile and celebrate the little things. 
 

If you're feeling down or the stresses of life gets in the way of happiness, SMILE! It always helps me 😃

S - see
M - miracles
I -  in
L -  life
E - everyday

Until next time ~ xo's Mary